Valentine's Day

I have sometimes thought that all of these little holidays can seem trite or pretentious if not just another excuse to sell Hallmark cards. But this year a good friend left a Valentines Day card and bag of goodies on my doorstep. It made me feel good to receive such a thoughtful token of kindness from a friend. After enjoying the chocolates, I thought about friends and family who had been on my mind. It seemed like a convenient time to send the cheery red & pink cards to friends I was thankful for who might be in need of a thoughtful act of kindness. When I received emails and cards saying what the card had meant, it made me feel good.

After the little heart holiday had passed, I realized that I had not gotten something for the friend that motivated me to send cards in the first place. I know that my friend would agree that simple acts of kindness are better passed on than returned. Holidays can be a great time to show an "attitude of gratitude" as researcher Martin Seligman describes one of the characteristics of happiness.

It's so easy to say thank you to people who have made a difference in your life by sending an eCard, a card, an email, posting a message to your blog, or just saying thank you.

Your Story

What’s your story? Your story includes your successes, challenges, credentials, and the people who helped you along the way. Your mentors, partners, and heroes helped shape your path, and your family, culture, and environment were a springboard for your career. Whether you feel like you took a bungee jump off of a cliff or a gentle climb through a bed of roses, your environment gave you challenges and opportunities that helped you build the character and resilience for finding where your dreams can lead you.

This month in the LifeWork Planning Guides we will develop a Personal Summary. Your Personal Summary is the first step in your LifeWork Success Plan. Your Personal Summary will give you a good start on your personal/career portfolio or the executive summary for your business plan.

Share your comments. I will review and post them to the blog or send questions or comments directly to me: http://centerforlifeworkdesign.org/Contact.html

Not business as usual

It may not be business as usual this year, but it's a new year with new hope and so much work to be done. It's a great time to start using up things that have been gathering dust in the cupboards and closets. Many of us have been buying in bulk, shopping sales for things we didn't need, and consuming treats as if they were an everyday necessity. 

We hear in the media that some people are having to think about their credit card spending, their $5.00 coffee habit, and cut back on vacations. It may not be a tragedy to put reckless spending on the back burner for a time. It is a good time to make our dollars count. How we spend money is at least as important as how we vote. With small businesses suffering and many going out of business, now is the time to think about how you want to shop and what options you want available to you. 

There are businesses that have unhealthy business practices that can't stand up to an economic downturn, but we may also be losing products and services that we value. Low price is not always the best value, and if we always shop price rather than valuing healthy, well made products, and good customer service, we may lose the best values. 

Where you spend your money also gives you a clue to where the jobs will be. If you shop big box stores then you or a family member may be working at one. If your dream is to own a small business, then you will want to support small businesses in your area. 

Most of us are finding ways to cut back on spending this year. Many of them are positive. Walking or riding a bike instead of driving, playing games with friends and family rather than going out, fixing healthy meals instead of takeout can all be positive changes. For those who have lost both family incomes, their businesses, or their homes, this year can feel like a tragedy. If you have friends, family, credit, and skills, you will have to make tough choices but but you have a support system to work with. Tough times can bring out your resourcefulness, relationship skills, and build personal resilience. There are people who have no one. When jobs are scarce they have nowhere to turn except to the hearts of those who have a clue what it is like to be touched by difficult times. 

For some, this year seems so bad because they had so much wealth and expectation of continuous monetary growth. But the economy goes in cycles and corrects itself every few years. The current crisis is a reminder that we need to take care of our money and as the saying goes, "prepare for a rainy day." As we clean out our closets and use up the old we will be prepared for a sunny spring.

Fall Networking Cafe

Our fall Entrepreneur's Networking Cafe meetings have been diverse and productive. The September meeting had a small turnout, but it was great to meet as always. Whether sharing information, business ideas, or just catching up, the networking meetings are always enjoyable. The downtown coffee shop is a nice environment for meeting, but it wasn't the most convenient location. The November networking meeting had better attendance with entrepreneurs sharing and selling their products and services. The personal setting provided a great opportunity for networking.

In October I moved my home office from Sacramento to Elk Grove with all of the disorganization that goes with a move. I find that even with the best planning, sometimes life events cause me a sense of chaos temporarily. November brought a visit from family with two small children. The fun, the noise, the laughter, and the exercise reminds me that we all experience different joys and challenges to running a business or finding balance with our careers. While the new energy in our home gives birth to chaos and creativity, it also brings challenges to organization and productivity. It gives me the opportunity to put myself in someone else's shoes. So many of us are experiencing changes so quickly we may find it hard to start a business or career planning when we are in the middle of unexpected changes. With all of the transitions we experience by the day or week rather than by the decade as was more common in the past, it is more important than ever to have a "LifeWork Success Plan." 

I developed "LifeWork Planning Guides" to help us feel more confident about the quick decisions we often have to make. Even when life seems a bit crazy and chaotic, knowing your strengths and values helps you stay on track with the things that are important to you. Try the "Introduction to LifeWork Planning Guides" delivered to your email box each month. We will not contact you unless you request it and you can cancel at anytime. You are busy and so are we. No one wants information they don't need, but a brief spam free email can help you stay on track and prepare for the next exciting stage in your life.

September Networking Cafe

The September Entrepreneur's Networking Cafe will be held at:

Butch & Nellies Coffee Shop

Downtown Sacramento

Saturday, September 20th

9:00 - 11:00 AM

Drop by, say hello, and let us know what you are doing. Entrepreneurs benefit from networking with other entrepreneurs, small business, and other professionals. What makes you a professional?  If you are passionate about what you do, you are willing to share your expertise, and continue learning.

The small group networking has been amazing in River Park. We hope to find a few people who are willing to go downtown for some great coffee, tea, and conversation.

Networking really is more than a business card!  But feel free to share cards so we will remember your name & business.

 

Knowing what you want

When I tell people that I am a career counselor, I often hear responses like, "I'm not looking for a job right now."  As a career development professional, I know that there is so much more to a career than just looking for a job, although a results oriented job search is very demanding.  I like calling myself a LifeWork Coach because the name gives people a better sense of what I do. 

In the last couple of weeks I've found my life and family having a major impact on my work.  I am my own boss, so I am usually good to myself although I can be quite demanding, but I have been thinking about people who have jobs with little flexibility.  When unexpected events happen in life, a person's work and lifestyle can be greatly affected.

My mother went to the hospital for a routine back surgery a couple of weeks ago.  Although it was considered major surgery, the operation went well.  On the other hand the patient didn't respond well to all of the medications, anesthesia, and stress of surgery.  Major surgery is harder on people as they get older, but hospitalization and surgery can be stressful for many of us.  In fact, if a person is well and able to take care of themselves, hospitalization can still be stressful.  If you don't feel well, you definitely need family (or a close friend) to help take care of you.

I have heard many times that when a family member goes to the hospital, they need someone there or nearby to help.  It was more true than I realized.  Modern science and medicine have come so far that we are curing cancers, heart disease, and so many diseases that were considered terminal.  With all of the "miracles" of modern medicine, the patient is often forgotten.  There is a real person behind the patient, and family/friends need to make sure the person is taken care of.  But how?  

Most of us are so busy that we have a hard time keeping up with ourselves, our work, and our immediate families.  What happens when we are needed full time or part time to help a family member?  For people who have little flexibility at work the result can be disastrous for the job or the family member.  What can we do?

Planning and preparing for unexpected events will help when a crisis comes up.  The goal of "LifeWork Design" is to know who you are and what you want so that you will be prepared. Knowing what your values are, and evaluating how you want to spend your time and your money are the subject of this month's "LifeWork Planning Guides."  The subject was so important to me in deciding what I would make the time for, and what I could either not do or put off until later.  I decided the math class that I had just signed up for could wait.  I could afford to let my work get behind a little bit, because I knew it could wait, and I could catch up.  It wasn't what I wanted to do at the time, but I knew what was most important to me.  I was ready to make decisions based on my values. 

Taking care of family is a high value for me.  Sometimes there is a high cost to having close relationships, but the cost of neglecting relationships is even higher.  I am thankful that with the help of the family, my mother is doing much better.  I am back to work full time and enjoying every minute of it!

Whether you are an entrepreneur or an employee, finding balance in your life and work can be challenging.   What challenges are you facing in your career?

August Networking Cafe

We were sorry to learn that Javalicious Cafe, our neighborhood coffee shop closed its doors. We will have an Open House Networking Meeting in August.

August 16, 2008
2:30-5:30

Contact Nancy for details. Stay connected to stay resilient in a changing business environment.

August 23rd Entrepreneur's Networking Cafe

Place & possibly time will be changed

More information soon!

Javalicious Café

August 23, 2008
9:00 – 10:00 A.M.

“Show & Tell”
Bring a sample of your product, brochure, etc.

Briefly tell what makes you or your product unique.

Participating Businesses:
Pacific Pointe Insurance Agency
Sandra J. Hertkorn, Medical Billing Systems
Center for LifeWork Design
The Urban Flower
Flowering Leaf Jewelry


Share & Collaborate
Networking is more than a business card!

Contact Nancy: lifeworkcoach@clwd-share.org for more information

Americans House Big Dreams

Is bigger always better?

We've been looking for a home in the California housing market. Prices are down, but it is a crazy complicated time to buy. It's difficult, but possible for the average person to get a good price on a home in this market, but things are never what they seem. Because Americans dream about big homes, and banks lust after big loans, buying a home has taken on a whole new meaning. For most Americans, a home represents so many different things:

• a right
• a showcase
• a possession
• an investment
• an entertainment center
• a place of beauty and refuge
• a place to store all of your stuff
• a welcome place for guests to visit

In many places in the world (and for some Americans), a home is a place to live, share relationships, prepare food, and have a family. Some people feel blessed if they even have a home. But for so many Americans, home is a status symbol and bigger is always better. According to Fast Company Magazine's article on the housing industry and greenhouse emissions, building and maintaining large energy guzzling American homes creates more greenhouse emissions than transportation in this country.

We've been looking for a smaller home to downsize and be more energy efficient. But the temptation to go large is very great, especially if the price is similar. Concerns about where to put all of the stuff, where will family stay when they visit, how to have a sense of privacy and of course, "Where's the family room?" We certainly wouldn't want to live in the living room.

Another important consideration is the appraisal. As an investment, the square footage is the first consideration in appraising a property. Getting the right home at the right time and price can be as lucrative as winning the lottery or at least a game show prize. The temptation to look for the prize creeps its ugly head into many real estate deals in California. Have we lost sight of looking for health and happiness through healthy eating and healthy relationships? I talk about it a lot, and facilitate workshops and presentations on health and happiness, because that's what it takes to keep me on track with my vision and values.

July Networking Cafe

Entrepreneur's Networking Cafe

9:00 - 10:00 AM

July 19, 2008

If you are an entrepreneur
Coach Entrepreneurs
Or think like an entrepreneur

Join us at
Javalicious Cafe
(Carlson Dr. Sacramento)
Delicious coffee and pastries

Practice your brief introduction to your product, service or skills
in a fun friendly environment
(This is not speed networking)

Share & collaborate
Networking is more than a business card!

For more information
Contact Nancy
Center for LifeWork Design
lifeworkcoach@clwd-share.org

Networking

The Entrepreneur’s Networking Café, June 7, was a great success. It was a small informal networking group in contrast to the “Speed Networking” event I attended last evening hosted by the Business Chapter, Sacramento State University Alumni Association. “Speed Networking” is a great exercise and an opportunity to get your business card out to a number of businesses in a short period of time. It is also a good opportunity to practice your “elevator” speech. I met some interesting people and made some contacts.

In the cozy informal setting of Javalicious Café, the June Entrepreneur’s Networking Café had a small group of entrepreneurs discussing "what you do and why you do it." Janet Hignight, Vice President of Pacific Pointe Insurance Agency said their business is all about relationships and helping people understand the insurance business. They will be hosting an insurance education workshop July 24th. Enjoy a fun informational evening. Call for details. The unexpected common interests were amazing! Some of us made an appointment to tour the new Techskills facility, which led to further connections and relationships.

Whether you own your business or work for someone else, understanding what you do and why you do it, will help you periodically re-evaluate your goals, stay motivated and have "an attitude of gratitude" in all of the work you do. We're looking forward to the next Entrepreneur's Networking Cafe July 19th,
9:00 AM, at Javalicious.

Center for Fathers and Families

I recently attended the Center for Fathers and Families, 6th Annual Salute to Fatherhood Banquet at the Radisson Hotel in Sacramento. With the goal of strengthening families and building communities, the center has made an impact on youth and parents in the Sacramento area. I was very moved by the success story of a teen who had gone through the AWARE (Adolescents Willing to Act Responsibly Everyday) Life skills for teen males program and graduated from college with a goal of making a difference in his community. I applaud Rick Jennings for all of the work he has done to provide opportunities for youth and families to succeed through the many programs at the Center for Fathers and Families.

Feelings of Gratitude

As I sit in my office on this cool spring morning, I can hear birds, planes, and the chug of my computer so easily grinding thoughts into words. I can sit back and feel the pleasure and comfort of my big office chair. There have been so many mornings where I dashed out without breakfast to take a brisk walk to the bus, then felt hot and tired on the walk home. This morning I pause to enjoy the gratitude of feeling comfort, safety and satisfaction in what I am doing. Not everyone has the opportunity to enjoy this kind of pleasure on a daily basis, but I know that I wouldn’t have enjoyed it today if I hadn’t taken a few moments to indulge in feelings of gratitude.

Entrepreneur's Networking

Entrepreneur’s Networking Cafe

If you are an entrepreneur

Coach entrepreneurs or

Think like an entrepreneur

Join Us

at Javalicious Café

(Follow Carlson Drive from Sac State to

The little Shopping Center in River Park)

June 7, 2008

9:00 – 10:00 AM

Share ideas, resources, and network with entrepreneurs

First meeting, “What you do and why you do it”
Share & Collaborate

Networking is more than a business card!

Urban Gatherer

Confessions of an Urban Gatherer

Gather, accumulate, collect, amass. The “urban gatherer” saves for the next storm or disaster. Mainly they save for fear of losing what they have. I have found myself living like an “urban gatherer” storing up for whatever future uncertainty might come my way. Rather than giving, recycling and feeling blessed for all that I have, I find myself holding on.

It's not hard to find myself wanting just another snack or a trip to the mall. I feel like I need an energy boost. I should go have an orange. So I go into the kitchen and see a wonderful array of snacks. I could have some chips or cheese and then have the orange. One snack leads to another and pretty soon I've had too much. I go to the mall to just to get out, walk around and hear some music. I get there and decide that I really need that little $12 shirt at the department store. When I get in the store I see so many things that I would like to have and they are all on sale. The $12 top has turned into a $75 dollar purchase. I'm happy!

I get home and have another snack because I'm really hungry after the shopping trip. Now I'm feeling a little too full and hoping I fit into the jeans I bought on sale. I open my closet to put the new clothes away and find there's very little room. Maybe I need a bigger closet. Or better yet a bigger house. I sit down and turn on the TV. I definitely need a bigger house for the large screen TV I need. My kids are getting large screen TV's, so I'm sure we should have one. There's no point in getting the Wii we want if we have a small television. The possibilities are endless. I realize that I need to get up and go put some things away. But where? There's no room. I need to spend some time organizing, but how will I have time? My computer crashed yesterday and it will take me hours or days to set up all of my accounts and programs.

I have to ask myself, "Am I really suffering from having too little?” Maybe I have so much stuff that I am having trouble managing it. I know that I can't let go of things that I don't need anymore because I may need them later. There's talk of inflation going up or possible recession. I'm not sure when I'm going to get that dream job, and my husband is planning to retire in a year. I picked up some old shoes out of my closet this morning and realized that I probably don't need them anymore. I have two other old pair and would like to purchase something newer. I started to throw the shoes away and then wondered what I would do if I needed them later. There was a time when I couldn't afford to buy new shoes when I wanted them. I remember when I ate food I didn't really like because I was actually hungry. I also think back to just being tired and hungry from long days in graduate school when I got home too late to fix dinner.

Now I seem to have plenty of food that I like. I have clothes, a television, two computers, a smart phone and an iPod. Remembering to keep everything charged and in the proper bag or pocket so that I have it with me is a challenge. I ponder over which breakfast bar I like best so I always have a snack with me in case a meeting or class runs late. I try to keep up-to-date on all of my business magazines, news, politics and the state of the economy because it is an important part of being a personal/career coach. But when I look at the hundreds of emails in my inbox, I just want to turn it off. I have self-study courses, ezines, telecourses and advertisements. My office is cluttered with more books and information than I can ever process much less read. Where is this insatiable appetite for stuff and information coming from? What am I trying to fill?
As I think about it, I realize that I get some sense of security from feeling like I'm smart and I know things. If I keep filling my closet then surely I can make an impression at the next networking meeting or presentation. I can feel assured that I won't starve when we have the next disaster because I started keeping a good supply of canned food, a windup flash light and a windup radio on hand after Y2K. But somehow all of these things don't make me feel satisfied. In fact, I can't always find the things that I really need. I know that it is time for me to quit behaving like a hunter-gatherer always storing up for winter. I want to live in the moment and savor all that my life has to offer.

The only way to be truly resilient and prepared for disaster is not through gathering and storing things. There is no security in having stuff that can be swept away in an instant. I am ready now to leave a life of the fear of uncertainty and begin filling my life with meaningful relationships, health and spirituality. Come back and join me in finding a truly fulfilling life. I enjoy hearing your thoughts and feedback.

For comments, please send me an email, and I will post it to the website with your permission. I am no longer using comments because of the occasional inappropriate use of the Internet. I want to keep this site friendly for everyone who wants to visit. You are welcome to send me an email that you don’t want posted. Send comments to: lifeworkcoach@clwd-share.org

Is Anyone Unemployable?

Is Anyone Unemployable: Is career counseling for everyone?
by Nancy Miller, M.S., LifeWork Coach

At first glance it would seem like there are a reasonable number of people who are unemployable due to health, disability, age or motivation. Certainly there are times when a person may not be able to work because of illness or trauma, but are they really unemployable, or are they unable to work at that time? People who lack Career Management skills may find it as difficult to keep a job as to find a job. But real and perceived challenges to employment may be making it difficult for highly skilled, motivated, experienced workers to find a job. In a changing competitive work environment where time, place and workload are totally under the employer’s control, as is often the case in large corporations, a skilled experienced job seeker may feel unemployable. It is important for workers to develop strong skills, ethical work habits and the ability to work in a group, but they also need healthy work environments. In this article we will discuss challenges to employment, career professional roles and accessibility of career services.

Some common challenges to employment are lack of career self-management skills. In a fast changing world, we need to have workers that know who they are and how to adapt quickly to new situations. The ability to learn is more important than what you know. Understanding and appreciating diversity helps people work in a world economy.

To be adaptable, you need to know what your skills are, where you want to work, and how you will get there. But you need much more. A job seeker needs to be a resource person looking for employers who want to work with you rather than a job-beggar complaining about your circumstances and looking for someone to feel sorry for you. Too often people who are chronically unemployed and poor focus on their deficits rather than their strengths.

When people suffer from long-term unemployment due to poverty, disability, past failures or lack of lifestyle management, they are often considered society’s throwaways. Our jails are full of our forgotten throwaways. With the cost of keeping people in prisons, it would be less expensive to have a culture of full employment than a culture full of jails. The question is, “Is anyone unemployable?” Can we have an inclusive system of employment? Are we building support systems to have an educated, employable fully functioning society of people?

Most people have at least one perceived challenge to employment for example they are told they are too old, too young, have a mental or physical disability, too much education or too little. In his book, “What Color is Your Parachute”, career guru Richards Bolles goes so far as to say that because of your real or perceived challenges to employment, there are about three weeks of your life when you’re employable.

Developing Career Management Skills means that you need to know Who you are, What you want, and How to get there. As career professionals we often see people who want to skip to the How. Most people who come to me for career coaching start with a request to review their resume. The exception is the college career center. Students often want a quick assessment and then a list of jobs that will pay well or provide job satisfaction.

In today’s world of work, it is important to start with your strengths or natural abilities and determine what skills you want. Look at your financial needs and evaluate how you can best develop your skills. I you have the financial means, you may be able to spend most of your time in school or training, at the same time testing the waters and gaining some work experience. In other words make it real. Employers are not interested in education without some real experience. Experience helps you try out your skills to see if you really want to use them in the real world.

Career professionals have many roles in assisting people with find a path to a balance of life and work. Career professionals may be able to:

1. Teach Career Management Skills:

• Helping people to better understand who they are and what they want.
• Finding their voice for expressing their strengths
• Discovering learning opportunities to develop their skills

2. Advocate for people:

a. Help job seekers find employers who will be willing to work with them.
b. Help individuals build networks and support systems

3. Learn the skills and character to be entrepreneurs and advocate for themselves.

4. Build supportive systems in their workplaces.

5. Provide counseling to assist people who have been wounded, lost hope, have low self-esteem, etc.

6. Refer a person who has a mental disability to a professional.

7. Model a hopeful positive attitude and a sense of humor.

I believe that anyone can be employable, and everyone benefits from participating in society whether it is through paid or unpaid work.

Leisure

I had the best laid plans for taking time off after I quit my job, taking a trip to Ohio to visit my daughter and 2-year old grandson for a month, and diligently working on my business while I was there. I found myself spending my time going to the playground, swinging on swings, visiting parks, recreation centers, a farm and taking long walks.

At first I felt guilty that I was only working sporadically. But then I began relaxing, enjoying the outdoors, my family, and re-learning how to laugh & play. I had been thinking for some time that I needed to spend some time on leisure, but it never seemed quite right to plan time for fun and play. Now I am more relaxed, I feel better, my stomach isn’t as tight and I can generally think more clearly. In the past two weeks, I’ve really learned the benefits of taking time for leisure.

NJ Miller

A little about me...

I am a LifeWork Coach and Counselor with a passion for encouraging and inspiring people to find their passion and energy. I graduated from CSUS with a Master’s Degree in Counseling with a Career Development Specialization. In the counseling program as I studied career development, I began to see how important it is to understand relationships. While in graduate school, I realized that I had not spent enough time on my relationships. As a result of my experience, I recognized how important it is to make time for healthy relationships. Although that revelation may seem obvious, like many busy people, I thought I could put my relationships on hold temporarily until I finished all of the important work that I was doing. When I realized how important relationships were not only at home, but at work, I became passionate about investing my time and energy in the relationships that I value.

I turned my passion into my business when I found that I love to work with people in workshops or one-on-one as I see their faces light up when they find their natural strengths as the source of their passion and energy. I enjoy helping people find ways to express their energy and creativity in their daily lives.

I want to help as many people as possible find happiness through positive spiritual thinking and healthy lifestyles. I use my strengths of curiosity and creativity to research and study theories on happiness, personality, healthy living, and spirituality. I am a member of the California Association for Counseling and Development, a member of the International Association of Coaches, a True Colors Career Development Facilitator, and a Real Game trainer.

I find energy being near or in the ocean. I love seafood, collecting shells, starfish, leaves, and boats. I love to travel, meet new people, and hear their stories. I enjoy facilitating workshops becuase I get excited about seeing people discover their strengths, find new energy, and learn to respect people who are different than they are. For more information about LifeWork Coaching Programs contact Nancy Miller at: lifeworkcoach@clwd-share.org.

Home for the holidays

Our thoughts turn to home and family during the holiday season. For many people thoughts of home bring warm memories of childhood dreams and fantasies. When I think of Christmas, my thoughts turn to fond memories of stringing popcorn and making cookies for tree decorations. I made popcorn and cookie decorations with my children, and I also remember stringing popcorn with my sister when I was young. My grandmother considered the singing of spiritual songs serious business, so my sister and I tried not to laugh while we sang. When my children got older, we would hang an assortment of decorations and throw tinsel at the tree and at each other while we laughed, sang, and drank sparkling cider. Holiday traditions stay with us even at times through generations. Whether we have fun happy memories or feelings of tension and distress, we often expect the same experience each year. But times change, seasons change, and thoughts of home and holidays can change also.

In the past, home for the holidays often brought the expectation of sitting around the fire in a home of your own with your extended family. This in itself can bring with it feelings of tension and anxiety as families grow and expand. Your house or mine? Where shall we go for Christmas? Or, worse yet, you might try to resolve the conflict by house hopping from one parent or grandparent’s house to another. Our American past is filled with so many stories about trying to be everywhere at the same time, and trying to fit too much fun into each moment. I remember one year inviting each side of the family over, one after the other, and fixing two different dinners on the same day. Whew! The expectation of so much fun and family can cause stress to children and adults alike.

Some people will always feel sad during the holidays. Whether for lack of gifts, family or warmth, the holidays can be a time of sadness for people who have great expectations for the season. I can’t think of any time of the year that carries such high expectations as the Christmas season (which has extended to cover at least three months). For some people early lights, shopping and decorating are ways to spread the joy. For others, shopping and advertising means more disappointment.

Now fast forward to the 21st century with soaring housing prices in many areas, long commutes to work, ambiguous work hours and conditions. You may be left wondering, “Where is home for the holidays?” Television and advertisers are still touting the big Christmas tree in the big house with a big family in red sweaters receiving big gifts. The commercial that caught my attention was the one where the long stockings were pulled out of the gift box. The stockings brought back memories of sneaking under the tree with my brother and sister to open an exciting gift before Christmas morning. To my disappointment, I had opened the gift from my grandmother. Socks! Not the best pick for an early surprise.

Maybe I’m just getting older, but now I think that warm fuzzy socks are a great Christmas gift. Celebrating the love of God, family where ever they are, the warmth of socks and a hot cup of tea are a great way to spend the holidays. How will you connect with your home, friends, and family for the holidays? This may be the year that your family is spread out or you are working or traveling. It may be a time when you can share family and holiday stories with someone else, or just sit down to a hot cup of tea and be thankful for what you have. Knowing your values and knowing what is really important to you will help make this a wonderful holiday season.

Copyright LWD © 2005 Nancy Miller

Writer's Conference

I had a wonderful opportunity to attend the Writer's Conference at CSUS this past weekend. It was a very humbling experience for some of us. It was invigorating to hear so many talented writers who had a vision for sharing something with others, whether it was something personal about themselves or a topic of importance. We heard the success stories and also the daunting reality of getting yourself published.

One of the authors that showed incredible determination in gettting her book published was Sandy Lynne Holman who wrote, "Grandpa, Is Everything Black Bad?" As a teacher, Sandy helps young people of all cultures understand and appreciate their heritage. She was a dynamic speaker who had us all dancing before the presentation was over.

As I was leaving the workshop, I met Susan Wooldridge who has written books and presents workshops to adults and young people on self expression through poetry. She offers "PoemCrazy Workshops" for community libraries, schools, and individual requests.

Growing and learning can be a rigorous process. It is very difficult to critique other people's writing as we did in the workshops, and it is also very difficult to hear your own wonderful work critiqued. The workshop facilitators emphasized the importance of writing what's in your heart, following your passion, and then editing...editing..editing. Writing is at the heart of the human experience. Sharing yourself with others through writing, speaking, or conversing puts you in a vulnerable position. It's through that vulnerability that you feel human. Receiving a positive response to that communication makes you feel bigger than life.

Too often in our experiences with others we sit in the director, editor, or critics chair asking ourselves if the person we are listening to deserves to be heard. We tell ourselves they are wasting our time. Go work on yourself some more and come back when you are successful. Publishers want to see a person's work when it has already shown a track record for success. I'm afraid that we as individuals often do the same. Some of the most wonderful successful books like, "Harry Potter" were rejected by all of the major publishers. Then someone took a chance on something different. They listened to something no one else was listening to.

Have you ever shrugged someone off for being a little odd, unique, or different? Maybe they talked more, louder, or with a lisp. Maybe they wore a colorful outfit when their friends were wearing black. I certainly have, and others have done that to me. I think we are really missing out when we are not open to people who are creative, unusual and mysterious. They may be like the best book not yet edited and published to sell to the masses.